To Be(at) or Not to Be(at)...The Fool Pondereth

Dear Reader,

An incident occurred recently at Bentley Manor, the home of our beloved Fool, that has caused much consternation to our Hero. The honourable house servant arrived a considerable time after her required hour. And while there was quite a demonstration of contrition, a awful fuss if you must know, the Fool was left with a grand dilemma: To beat the honourable servant, thereby preserving a healthy Master - servant relationship, or not, to simply let Western discretion overwhelm the grim event.

This Dilemma opened several doors of thought the Fool had not imagined to exist in a civilized mind such as his. The Fool fully recognizes his place in Society and as Lord of the Manor. The Fool believes whole-heartedly in honoring the responsibilities of Master and, to wit, making certain that those beneath Him recognize as well.

However, several dreadful questions came to mind as the Fool continued his deliberations. Such as which implement would the Fool choose to serve Honor? Bare hands: Unthinkable, how gauche can one be? A man who does not take care of his hands is most certainly a fool. A wooden spoon: Fumbling around kitchen drawers is quite beneath the stature of our Fool. A rod: Perhaps, although the Fool's panther-like physique hardly necessitates a cane at this point. An umbrella will have to suffice.

To which locale would this Justice be administered? The face: A bruised and wounded servant does send a powerful message. However, the Fool would probably become distracted by the sympathy aroused. The hands: Impossible, there is work to be done after all. The torso or thighs: A large, receptive target, the Fool thinketh.

How would one initiate such an exercise, by announcing intent and causation? The perpetrator should have a clear understanding of why this beating is being delivered, but frankly the Fool does not suffer fools well. There is no point in having one employed in service who does not recognize ones' own transgressions. Besides, the Fool has a rigorous schedule to be maintained.

Finally, should the Fool bow to a sense of modernity and temperance, will said servant even Respect her Master after such a dereliction of duty on his part? It was, indeed, no doing of the Fool that led to this awkward and time-consuming matter. Yet, by demonstrating a hand of kindness our Fool will undoubtedly place at risk his well-ordered household. Will we soon find our Fool squeezing his own orange juice or, god-forbid, serving his own tea?

Dear reader, while the Fool is loathe to admit any fault in this matter, it would be beneath Him to not acknowledge being caught completely off-guard by his, usually, punctual house servant's callous action. The cultural and legal ramifications aside, the dynamic of Master to servant is one of great complexity, as you, undoubtedly, will understand. It is with utter regret that the Fool may now find Himself in a morass of uncertainty, to be imperiled by his own kindness. 

Or not.